Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 09, Issue 01: Reflections and Intentions

There's nothing like the quiet time of thinking, pondering and reflecting over how it's been. Most of us spend part of the month of December and the beginning of January reflecting over the past year and pondering over how we can do better in the coming year, what we can do differently, how we can show up better in life.

We review the past year and ponder over and note things like;

⁃ What we are most grateful for from the past year

⁃ How we feel about the past year in overall

⁃ The positive changes we saw in ourselves the past year, how we have grown as individuals and the things we now do better than we did before.

⁃ The lessons we learnt in the past year. One of the things I learnt is that it's okay to say "This is not working for me" and change course.

⁃ Our major accomplishments in the past year. One of my major accomplishments was settling the matter on my bed time, eating hours, waking up early and daily quiet time.

⁃ The goals we wanted to achieve but didn't go as planned. One of the things I flopped in is showing up on time for things on my radar.

⁃ Whether we still feel passionate about those goals and what we can do differently in the new year to accomplish them.

⁃ What is holding us back from the life we envision - whether it's time management, self-doubt, procrastination, perfectionism or laziness.

We also ponder over the things we did in the past year that we want to continue doing. We consider the things that didn't do us justice that we want to stop doing. We think of the things we want to start doing in the new year to take us further than we have come thus far in our journey.

I thought of relatives I didn't visit or call enough and scheduled trips and phone calls to make on my calendar in the new year. I reworked the allowance system for my kids so that they no longer earn a free allowance but earn it by fulfilling certain obligations. I created a digital calendar blocking system for myself with alerts and reminders to help me show up better. I thought of the important things we didn't get to do or did poorly as a family and put them on the calendar to make sure we do them in the new year.

This is also the time we think about our intentions for the new year and get inspiration for what we want to focus on in the new year. We pick our theme or word for the year that will revolutionize our every day life in the year. We lay out the things we want to be intentional about in the new year. A one word theme does a better job than new year resolutions. It narrows our focus and brings clarity and simplicity into our lives. I will share my learnings on one word theme in a future post.

We then choose a few goal categories that we want to focus on in the year. The categories may range from health, mind, career, personal development, financial, creativity, relationships, organization, spiritual, skill building, etc. After we select somewhere between 3 and 8 goal categories, or more depending on our level of ambition, we brainstorm the goals we want to pursue for each.

We then refine our brainstormed goals into smart goals. Smart goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time bound. Here, we state exactly what needs to be done for each goal. We state how each goal will be measured to track progress. We ensure to set goals that are attainable - not too challenging or overwhelming. We state the relevance of each goal in the vision we have for our lives so we don't end up with goals that don't align with what we want to do in life. And finally, we state exactly when each goal needs to be met by. We set the target date or state the time in which we do the goal (daily, weekly, monthly, etc).

We then proceed to create simple action plans and steps, and lay out the tools and support we will need to make it happen for each goal. We then create tasks from the action plans, and put the tasks on our daily/weekly/monthly planner. After this we are good to go. It's action time. We set the ball in motion, do our best, review our goals monthly and celebrate wins, and get back on track when we fall behind.

Let's have an amazing year.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 08, Issue 19: Time With Him

What do you do with your time in God's presence? Is it a daily habit or something you do whenever you can get to it? It comes down to whether or not you are in on the secret of the power of that time. This article is about the time we dedicate to spend with God, but that's not to say it's the only time we engage with God in a day. But it does set in motion our engagement with Him throughout the day.

When we tell new believers to spend time with God, they are usually left wondering what to do. We then tell them to pray and read the Bible. So they try that but get stranded after some time. They may show up for prayer and be done with all they have to say in less than 3 minutes. This makes it a boring exercise or make them feel inadequate that some end up giving up on it all together.

Learning that our time with God is fluid frees us to enjoy that time. It becomes the highlight of our day and sets in motion our engagement with Him for the rest of the day. I think time with God is connecting with God in a way that honors Him and aligns with your unique personality. In my last article I promised to write what I do with my time in God's presence. Here are my 5 things that I do with that time;

1. I have a conversation with God. This is the best part. As an introvert, I keep to myself, don't talk much with people, but at this time I have plenty to say. I tell God what's on my heart and mind. Most times, it's just talk, I tell Him what I want to do that day, ask him to help me with those things. I present to Him the things that I need Him to guide me on, to tell me what to do. I tell Him the things that are making my heart glad at that moment and pour out my thanksgivings. I also mention people or things to Him that need His intervention. I also ask Him to pardon my messes. Sometimes this conversation is all about pouring out my heart to Him, rending my heart over something that has either saddened me or brought me great joy. At this time I generally do most of the talking, but when am still enough I hear what He has to say. It's never an audible voice but you know when He has spoken.

2.  I write morning pages. This is where I write down whatever is on my heart. Most times its a stream of thanksgivings on a thing or multiple things. Other times its a prayer request. I write down my prayer requests because I enjoy when I come back to write, "Lord you did it again! You came through for me, just like you always do". I like to keep these things on record to remind me of the Lord's wonders. I call the journals where I write these on "my walls of remembrance." Other times it's things that are at the fore of my heart at that moment, and all these remain private in my journals.

3. I read the Bible. It's more like study the Bible because I read and listen to portions of scripture and write down on my Bible study note book what has impressed my heart, what has stood out for me in the reading. Sometimes it translates into a praise session of expressing my awe of the Lord. Many revelations are birthed from these moments which I record and sometimes post on my website to share with those who would be interested. At this time I also do a daily devotional, sometimes two. They are called "Bible plans" in the YouVersion Bible App. Here I also write down or copy to my digital notes what I want to ponder over some more or make an article out of to share with people on my website. The plans vary from anywhere between 3 and 30 days. They are designed to help you explore biblical truth, reflect on it, and apply it to your life. Sometimes once I am done with a plan, I repeat it twice or thrice if I want the message to sink, to become my own.

4. I make declarations. This is where I command blessings into my day, call things that are not as though they are. I take a moment to speak life and pronounce blessings over my family and situations. I have these written down, so I read through, declaring out loud. I also have the same and much more voice recorded on my iPod, which I use when I go out for my morning walk.

5. I read a book or an article, or watch or listen to a teaching on DVD, or a video on YouTube. This is where I read or listen to something that will benefit my mind and future. I enjoy this a lot and carry it on into my day and evening every chance I get. Reading is a natural pass time for me. I am almost always happy to be alone to read or listen to something to learn new things and develop my mind.

That's my list. None of these things are magical but they are the things I choose to do at the start of my day, in order to begin my day in a way that brings me the most joy and fulfillment. It's my time, my quiet time. A time that consists of practices that energize and inspire me. I have created a routine that ensures my mornings are peaceful, nourishing and productive. I will post an article on my morning and evening routines at a later point.

So, what are yours? What are the things you do with your time with God?

I want to conclude with the words of Francis Frangipane of Charisma House. Redeem the Time. Those who would find God find time. Every minute you seek God is a minute enriched with new life and new power from God. Give yourself a minimum amount of time—an hour or two each day—but do not set a limit, as the Lord may draw you to seek Him on into the day or night. And continue day by day, and week by week, until you have drawn near enough to God that you can hear His voice, becoming confident that He is close enough to you to hear your whisper. God has given everyone enough time to seek Him. It is there.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 08, Issue 18: Changing My Approach

It's amazing what time with God does for us. Being quiet, reflecting in his presence, solutions and ideas start streaming in.

Lately, I have found my work overwhelming, demanding, just too much to do. My approach to tackle the load was to try to get it all done, stretching myself as much as possible.

That wasn't a good approach because it left me drained, constantly feeling mentally fatigued even with enough sleep. I felt lazy to do the personal things that usually bring a sense of refreshment and renewal to me.

I have figured out that for me, just because the work load is huge doesn't mean I need to work longer, chipping away at it every waking moment I have. It may seem like the right thing to do but it's not sustainable, at least not for me.

By working longer, I was pulling away from the one thing that gives me power and strength - proximity to Christ. Because after all that work, I felt too tired to wake up early to spend time in his presence. I still woke up, but not as early, so I did the bare minimum with that time.

Some people need just a few minutes with God. I need I little bit more time to get full. In my next post I will write what I do with that time.

Just because the work is a lot doesn't mean I should consistently work longer hours. It means I need to lean in more, surrender more, depend more and let God do what he sees needs doing. Time with God is the easiest item to drop off the list in busy times. I heard a story about John Wesley. He had an assistant who did his schedule. One evening his assistant asked him, "tomorrow you got all these to do. How are you going to get it all done?" John Wesley responded, "I am going to get up an hour earlier and spend that extra hour with God." That response says it all. If we want to succeed in our busy schedules, we cant afford to eliminate time with God.

So, I have gone back to the basics. I write down my goals for the day, jot down my professional and personal tasks, assigning time for specific tasks, meetings, distractions and emails for work, and separate time slots for personal goals.

I have always scheduled my meetings in the afternoon. I find holding meetings in the morning distractive of my day and a waste of my most productive time. What I am changing is how I deal with other people's requests for meetings that require my participation. Most people schedule for morning meetings. I am responding to these requests by proposing an alternative time in the afternoon.

With regards to distractions, one of my challenges has been dealing with multiple requests for information and advice from colleagues. My new approach now is that if someone walks in or calls without a prior appointment, I will request them to allow me to get back to listen to them at a later time, which would be the time I have assigned for distractions.

The other productivity thief I am addressing is emails, restricting the time I check emails. I won't let other people's agenda dictate how I spend my day at work. I will therefore not start my day attending to emails, but rather schedule a time for emails at a later point in the day so that I use my most productive hours attending to specific tasks on my calendar.

If I can't start my day on my own terms, I am not going to get anywhere in the long term. When it's time for emails, I will conclusively respond to quick ones, and pull out tasks from the rest and schedule when I would work on them. So, I won't attend to them right away but acknowledge receipt and advise the senders that I would get back to them at a later point. This way I can give my undivided attention to achieving my goals. Thereafter, 5 o'clock would find me in my car, driving off, without my laptop.

That's my God-inspired approach. Now I can go back to doing life on my own terms, enjoying my work while maximizing my productivity, enjoying my family, having time for rest, and feeling energized for my evening and morning routines. Having already started this, I know I will recover. I will feel refreshed. I will feel excited again. I will enjoy my life. I will have work-life/ work-rest balance.

If you have been struggling like me, give yourself permission to end the struggle in the way that speaks to your heart and situation. Lean in more, surrender more, then take action when God tells you what to do. Free yourself to live your life by God's design for work and rest.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 08, Issue 17: Even in Little Things

Yesterday afternoon I was once again reminded that God is always taking care of us, even in little things. I was out of town and I wanted to have the safe in my hotel room opened. A few days earlier I had been given access to the safe, I opened it, put my valuables in it and locked it with my secret code. Coming back to my room that evening I put my secret code but the lock didn't open. I contacted the reception but the manager had left for the day and they promised he would assist me the next day. I had a busy day thereafter, so I didn't follow up until yesterday when I had a free afternoon.

Knowing that I was to leave for the airport by nine o'clock the next morning, I wanted to take care of the safe business before it turned into a personal crisis. So, armed with this clear objective, I set out for the main reception to make my request. But God put distractions in my way that left me going to the side reception instead. The receptionist understood my request and the urgency there on, and promised to take care of it. And he did! You know how important that is if you have had experience with crappy service.

From the reception, I didn't want to go to my room right away. I felt like relaxing on one of the comfortable lounges nearby while watching personal development videos on my phone. The lounge area is a different direction from the reception, so the receptionist wouldn't have known where I was. He must have assumed I went to my room to wait for the service I requested.

Since I didn't want the general manager to go to my room and not find me, I asked God to help me not miss the manager if he comes by while I am still on the lounge. I lay down facing the path I thought he would use to make sure I don't miss him. The only problem was that I didn't know how the manager looked like, and whether he would be wearing hotel uniform or civilian attire.

Guess what happened, knowing my deficiencies, God arranged for the manager not to miss me! I was concerned about me missing the manager, but God arranged for the manager not to miss me. Instead of using the path I thought he would use, the manager walked by the lounge area, stopped by my lounge bed and asked if I was the one needing assistance with opening my safe. How amazing is that! Those lounges are for relaxation for all guests, and not for guests waiting for something.

You could be thinking there's nothing special about that. I disagree. The manager could have gone straight to my room, bounced me and gone back to his business. And being a Friday afternoon, he could have clocked off early and maybe was going to be unavailable the next morning. Who knows what could have happened?

God honored my simple casual request to guarantee I get the service I needed, when I needed it, to preserve my peace of mind for the rest of my stay at the hotel. I believe that none of those happenings were coincidental. The Bible says that the steps of the righteous are ordered of the Lord. We are righteous not because we don't do anything wrong, we are righteous because of Christ's righteousness. That was God taking care of me.

Don't miss your moments. God is always taking care of us, even in little things. These are the things that build our faith to trust him for the big things. They remind us that we are still in God's corner, precious in his eyes. They remind us that we are forgiven and accepted. They remind us that we are loved and cared for, that we are not doing life alone. That he is right there with us, doing what he sees needs doing. I don't know about you, but knowing that God cares about my little things wows my heart big time.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 08, Issue 16: Rest, A Necessity

My feelings of mental fatigue these last couple of months have drawn my focus to study more on rest and take deliberate and intentional steps towards pursuing rest. I want to share with you some of the nuggets I am gleaning from my studies. Today I am sharing from the work of EMS Hancock on "Finding relaxation in a non-stop world."

Rest is not an expensive perfume that we can forgo without consequences, it's a built-in requirement. Rest is, and always has been, a necessity that we must make space for in our lives.

Rest is good for us. It connects us back to our Father, God; it reminds us of joy; it helps us to be more creative; it taps us back into heaven's perspective; and it allows us to feel wonderfully free. EMS Hancock, "Finding relaxation in a non-stop world".

I don't know about you, but I am happier, kinder, more alive and efficient when I am rested. I operate on a short fuse when my energy levels are low. In fact this is so real for me that when I know I am getting there, I ask my kids to not bother me with questions, and do to everything I ask them to do.

I, for one, know myself too well to know that I should stop all work, professional or domestic before nightfall since my day starts quite early. But I often land in trouble by stretching myself beyond this boundary, hence taking rest for granted and dealing with the consequences thereafter.

Our rest is precious. It needs to be taken seriously and built into our days and weeks. I have realized that waiting for the weekend to rest is not enough for me. I need to build rest times into my work days as well to be well rested.

Rest should have an element of fun and creativity. I was telling my friends over lunch the other day that for me rest is not just about jumping into bed to sleep. That's a big part of it at the end of my day, but I first want to sit down and do something fun, like watch or listen to something I enjoy. For my friend, all she needs is jump into bed. What about you, how does rest look like to you?

Rest is the secret of facing life in every circumstance feeling strengthened and empowered, with inner strength and self confidence. EMS Hancock, "Finding relaxation in a non-stop world". We need this.

Our personal worlds today are so fast-paced that we can feel as though we are constantly battling fatigue. Not perhaps from physical labor, but from the mental gymnastics we endure to try to stay ahead of the game. Sometimes my body may look still, but my mind is far from it. The inner workings of my brain are pacing and racing as the 'to do' list in my consciousness urgently scribbles a few late entries. EMS Hancock, "Finding relaxation in a non-stop world".

My pursuit of deliberate rest is work in progress, and sometimes my good intentions are overridden by the demands that seem to outweigh the time I have assigned for work. If that describes you too, don't give up. We are on the right track, we will succeed.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi