Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 01, Issue 40: Adversity is the Test of Integrity

Many times we fall into the trap of building our competence while neglecting our character. We read about celebrities who rise to stardom, but shortchange their greatness by character flaws that soon become difficult to hide from the public and lead to their downfall.

In the superhighway of greatness, our character is just as important as our competence. Developing character alongside competence is crucial for enduring greatness. As advised by Andy Stanley, it is incumbent upon you to do all you can now to prepare yourself for your eventual success. Your gifts will open doors. Your character will determine what you do once those doors are open.

Although competence gets you to the top, it is character that keeps you there. Your brilliance will not sustain you at the top in the absence of a strong moral authority. Make a deliberate effort to build your character beside your competence, for they are both equally important.

Our talents can take us to places we never imagined possible. But unless our character is strong enough to weather the temptations that we find at the top, our success will only be short-lived.

We often hear it said that adversity shapes character. But in essence, our character is not really developed in adversity, it is merely displayed there. Our integrity becomes most visible in times of crisis, trials and temptations.

Adversity is the test of integrity. Our character is tested during hard times. We cannot afford to wait for times of testing to decide how we will respond to life. We have to determine beforehand how we will respond when tested. There is no opportunity to think clearly and analyze your options during a test. All you can do during a test is manage your predetermined decisions.

Decide on your values and determine in advance how you will respond when confronted with an offer to compromise them.

Don’t wait until a temptation blurs your judgment to determine how you shall respond. If the alternative actions are not determined earlier, a temptation or a crisis moment affords you no time to brainstorm, but only a moment to pick the course of action to take.

A man without decision of character can never be said to belong to himself. He belongs to whatever makes him captive. Richard John Foster.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 01, Issue 39: Adversity Colours Life

Life is not always a smooth sail. Whether we like it or not, even the best of us face storms in our lives. Each of us stumbles upon testing a couple of times. We all have struggles and turning points in our lives. They make us stronger and wiser, and better able to handle life.

Disappointments, hurt, betrayal, shattered dreams, broken hearts, financial struggles, and losses are all part of the cycle of life. No one gets to be exempt from trials and troubles, but the response to hardship separates the boys from the men, and the girls from the women. You can choose to either embrace your pain and squeeze life out of it, or you can give in to it and allow it to consume you.

When faced with a storm, your concern should not be the severity of the storm, but rather how you will weather it. Attitude is everything. Nothing can change your circumstances faster than your attitude. Your attitude should be as was expressed by Maya Angelou when she wrote that you may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.

I have learnt that adversity colours life. But we get to choose the colour. The colour we choose is largely determined by our attitude towards the circumstances that life affords us. In the same set of circumstances, people with a different attitude draw different responses.

Understand the reality of life and purpose to absorb the shock of life’s testing with dignity. Determine not to be resentful of your circumstances but to rather respond to them with grace. Allow times of testing and trial to deepen your character and beautify your spirit.

It is prudent to appreciate that adversity is inevitable in some respect. This will enable you to be prepared and ready to accelerate recovery from hardship with as little dwelling on the negatives as possible.

Although the world is full of hardships, it is also full of overcoming it. Hellen Keller.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 01, Issue 38: Define Your Success

What does success mean to you? Better still, what does success look like to you? In the absence of understanding, we define success by material possessions. But if everything else were to be removed from your life and you were left with just your material possessions, would you still feel fulfilled?

Success means different things to different people. But in general, success is defined by the realization of a life lived with meaning, not by the material possessions that we have to our name.

Success is determined by the fulfillment we get out of our interactions in life. It is measured by attributes such as thriving key relationships, finding joy in your daily preoccupations and living your life on purpose - doing that which you were born to do; that which brings you the greatest fulfillment; that which holds the most meaning to you.

I believe that material possessions have their place in our lives, but that place is where we should keep them. Material possessions are important in the sense that they aid our lives; but they should not define our lives.

Success is uncovered in the diligent pursuit of the things that we value. Living a life well lived is all about living your life on purpose. To be on purpose means doing what you love to do, doing what you are good at and accomplishing what is important to you. Living a successful life is about finding your place of service and giving it your best shot.

We certainly need to work hard to get wealth. But chasing after the wind of material possessions in the hope of achieving success is a futile pursuit. No amount of money is ever enough to make one happy. We overstretch ourselves in the pursuit of more material possessions to be labeled successful. But money is not what we need to be happy, hence the reason why it is never enough. You never get enough of what you don’t really need to make you happy.

Ultimately, no amount of acquisition can lastingly deliver what we long for – meaning and fulfillment. As once said by a Greek millionaire Aristotle Onasis, money and what it can buy is not the same as success. After you reach a certain point, money becomes unimportant. What matters is success.

Success has to do with finding meaning, fulfillment and happiness in your relationships and work. Find what holds the deepest meaning to you and strive to live out that meaning.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 01, Issue 37: Remain True to Yourself

When we go through profound experiences, they change us. We risk our relationships with friends and family. They may not like the direction we have taken or may feel threatened and judged by our decisions. They may wonder what happened to the person they though they once knew. Wangari Maathai, Kenyan Environmentalist and Nobel Laureate.

There are defining moments that define our lives. People who have always been around us may not understand the sudden change in our philosophy. We ourselves may not entirely comprehend it enough to offer sufficient explanations. Besides, it is hard enough to convince yourself that you can be great. How about convincing others? In the face of dissenting voices, both within and without, reiterate to yourself that what you have found is something to celebrate, not scorn.

Something changes when we discover who we are. We don’t remain quite what we were once we discover ourselves. We cease to be comfortable with the status quo and find that we want more out of our lives. We realize that we can be more than what we have become so far. We get dissatisfied with living just for ourselves and become anxious to grow in order to make a contribution to humanity.

When we go through profound experiences, we come out feeling confident of who we are and look at life in a whole new way. New excitement burns within us, passions we never knew we had. We cease feeling guilty for not doing certain things that people may expect of us. We know where we fit, we know our area of service and that settles it. We are not devastated by the opinions of others. We do not allow our moods to be tossed to and from by the behaviour of others. We know who we are and whose we are; and we are empowered to see our circumstances clearly, make choices wisely.

Every one of us longs to know that our life has a greater meaning than what we see or experience in the day to day. There is a service to humanity that you alone can give. To make your contribution you must remain true to your defining self. Advance your cause, doing the things that matter most to you and for the generations to come.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 01, Issue 36: Success is Not Final

Many of us are not well prepared for success. We may have been so used to failure that we do not know how to behave when we succeed. A number of us get intoxicated with success. Some of us still, treat success as a destination. When we succeed we feel we have arrived. We want to park and bask in the glory of our achievement. We forget that the world has not stopped just to cheer us on.

Success is not final, it is a journey. It is a step on the staircase that reveals yet more stairs to climb. One success reveals more horizons for us to reach out for. One success is a foundation for the next success, and so on.

It is not time to relax and take glory, but time to strategize on what to know and do for tomorrow’s success. It is time to look at what went well and build on the past success. In fact, one success should impress upon us the urgency to work even harder for the next one.

Today’s success does not guarantee continued success or success in future. The crowning of success does little to advance your next goals. So don’t respond to success by slowing down. Step up your efforts instead. Let your awards inspire you to work even harder.

To have lasting success we must maintain the attitude of the starting point. The edge of zealousness we had to achieve, and the determination to outdo ourselves in the pursuit of our goals must not dull.

We must realize that the things and ways that brought us our current success will not necessarily sustain us or take us to the next level of success. We must innovate and come up with new creative ways of doing things. We must change with the times while maintaining the attitude of the starting point.

It is worth noting that success is not something that happens to us. It is something that happens in us. Our response to it determines how long it will last.

Lillian Chebosi