Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 01, Issue 20: What makes you Happy

I have learnt that there is no magical formula to living your dream life. It’s never about having what you want but wanting what you have.

When you get to the point of wanting the life that you have, life becomes bliss. Want the job that you have, the house that you live in, your means of transportation, the life that you have with your family and the gratification you get from the friendships that you have. This way, you are not waiting for something to happen to be happy. You are happy in your present station in life. This does not imply settling for less than you are capable of, but enjoying the process of getting where you want to be.

Happiness is not a future pursuit but a present state of life. We take time to learn from the past and plan for the future, but our primary focus should be on what is happening at the present moment.

It helps to discover yourself and learn what you love most. When you begin to do what you know and love to do, the last thing you will be looking for each day is the sunset. You will want your day to last longer.

Happiness is tied to purposeful living. When your days allow you the opportunity to do the thing that gives you the greatest fulfillment and satisfaction; that thing that draws on your strengths; the thing that when you do you lose the sense of time, become wholly absorbed in and want to do consistently; you won’t help it but be happy.

Doing what you love and loving what you do contribute to getting up excited each day. Build a passion around your preoccupation or find what you are passionate about.

We must also acknowledge that life is not advancement. It is growth. The wins we gain by growing give us happiness. Seek wholesome growth. Outward success may be fleeting and void of happiness, but balanced growth offers an inner sense of fulfillment.

Find happiness in the simple things of life. Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment. Every day, every hour and every minute is special. Do not keep anything for a special occasion. Every day that you live is a special occasion.

Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, won or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. Dennis Waitley.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 01, Issue 19: Cultivate a Teachable Attitude

A teachable attitude is a must have to grow. We must resist the temptation of thinking that we know all there is know. Nobody knows it all. When we open ourselves to knowledge we realize that there’s always something new to learn.

There’s more to learn beyond your college degree. Apply yourself to a whole new world of knowledge. Keep in mind that it is what you learn after you know it all that counts.

If you are like me you have done a lot of reading and little application. If you can hardly remember the books you have read in the last few months, then you have not been reading that well. Evaluate yourself to find out if the materials you have read have changed you or helped you to grow.

I believe that there’s no point of reading if you are not going to do anything with the material. The whole point of reading is to grow. You may have become knowledgeable from your readings but still lag behind in growth. Growth is largely determined not by how much we know, but how much we reflect upon and apply.

Effective intellectual development involves reading, reflecting and behavioural change. Reading is exercise to the brain. The brain is a muscle and in the same way that our body muscles require exercise, so do our brains. Reading a good material and thinking about the content does wonders for the brain. However, don’t be caught up in the futility of reading everything. Build your personal library around your purpose.

Reflecting is contemplating on what you have read and letting it seethe in your mind. It is only when we reflect upon what we read that we practice quality reading over quantity reading. This is what we want. We don’t want to spend our limited time engaging in inconsequential reading.

True learning takes place when we apply the knowledge we gain from reading and reflecting. This happens when what we have read and reflected upon change our behaviour.

As we apply ourselves to knowledge, let’s commit to apply the timeless principles we glean from books and life experiences. One of our goals in life should be to grow and grow others. If you are to teach anyone anything, you must become a student among students.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 01 Issue 18: Take Responsibility for your Growth

We are not judged by the things we say we will do or by the plans we make to do great things. We are judged by what we actually do. We take the trouble to make great plans and talk about all the things we want to do. But it is only the plans that we implement that count. We blame our stagnation on the circumstances of our lives. We wait for others to discover our untapped potential. We wish to be engaged more so that we can grow. But nobody discovers you. You discover yourself.

As clearly pointed out by Dr. Alfred Mutua in his book on secrets of survival, you are the one who determines your legacy. Nobody will discover you and your potential. You have to do it yourself. You do it by sticking out your neck, by challenging the norm and by exposing yourself to ridicule, failure and predicaments.

If you have waited long enough for a chance to live up to your potential, you have realized that life is a do it yourself project. Your future will be the product of the investment you make in developing yourself today.

Before doing anything great, we have to become it. Self discovery enables us to become. Once you discover your potential, develop your strengths and make yourself ready for approaching opportunities. Don’t wait for opportunities to come in order to prepare. The few who rule the world prepare for the opportunity long before it appears.

When we recognize that we are our most appreciable asset, we approach our work, relationships and recreation with a mindset of growth. Alongside your strengths, develop your staying power as you are bound to encounter setbacks on your journey. Nothing stands in the way of persistence.

The fear of failure keeps us from trying. The thought of the exhaustion of the responsibility of growth keeps us away from the starting point. Overcome your fears and acknowledge that you have to start where you are. Don’t wait to have it all together. Use what you have. Don’t let your shortcomings or what you don’t have keep you from using what is at your command. Push on and take responsibility for your growth.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 01 Issue 17: Decide and Move On

“Take your time. Don’t make a decision in a rush. Take all the time you need to think it through”. So we are told; whenever we need to make an important decision. Back in school those who were last to leave the exam room were envied by others who thought they would get the highest marks because they took their time to think through their answers.

We tend to take our time, tell people not to rush us. Those who seem to rush through decisions are mistaken for being careless, impatient, and their decisions judged before-hand as wrong until proven right.

Taking time to think is quite in order. But it doesn’t mean you do it slowly. Taking a week to come up with an idea doesn’t make it any better than the idea you come up with in an hour.

Working fast does not necessarily mean inaccurate. Speed is not in contradiction with good and correct choices. Taking too long to make a decision doesn’t guarantee that the decision eventually arrived at is the right one.

The faster you work the more efficient you are. Back in exam rooms, those who finished before everybody else tended to score the highest marks. You have to learn to make a decision quickly; within the shortest time possible and move on to other things.

Think quickly about issues at hand and make decisions promptly. Act with speed on your dream before someone else who lacks the passion you have for it runs with it before you do.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 01 Issue 16: Tread the Path of Most Resistance

Excellence is doing something right the first time and doing it well. It is the art of exemplary performance, a personal responsibility. We are all capable of excellence. Since everyone is unique, each of us was designed to be the best at something. This implies that we shortchange ourselves whenever we fail to produce our best work. It is easier to be floppy and get by being average at everything. But if we want to go far in life, we must aim for excellence, the path of most resistance.

Excellence is about being faithful with what we have been entrusted with. It is the stewardship of our resources, talents and skills. We are warned that if we are not good stewards of other people’s resources, we won’t be trusted with our own. But it is also right to say that if we are not faithful with our own resources, we risk losing the little or much we have. A story is told in the Bible of a servant who wasn’t faithful with one talent he was entrusted with. That talent was taken away from him and given to the one who had made good use of what was entrusted to him. Hence the feeling that those who have always seem to get more.

There isn’t much satisfaction in doing something just to finish. That is not the way to live. I believe there is a desire for excellence in each of us. We want to be outstanding at the things we do. Excellence is not something we do just when people are watching or for people to see and applaud us. Excellence is for ourselves. We feel good when we do things well. Excellence is meant to make us feel good. We are made after God’s own image. When we operate at our best, we are like him, excellent. God looked at everything he created and said that it was good. We should be able to say the same about our work. We ought to autograph our work with excellence.

Discipline yourself to produce your best work. Raise the standards for yourself.  Until we hold ourselves to a higher standard, we will never rise above the mediocre. Only you know the quality of work you can produce. Move away from the culture of doing things in a shoddy manner and aim for precision. Refuse to take anything less than the best from yourself. Once you decide to do things well, you will find that your brain will start being precise without thinking about it.

When we embrace excellence, our focus shifts from competing with others to outdoing ourselves. A little competition with others is healthy but the larger part of competition in life should be against ourselves. Because deep down we know we can do better. We can rise up and do things well.

Lillian Chebosi