Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 12, Issue 40: Watch Out

One of the things that have stood out for me these last few days of the year is things and people are not always what they seem. We at times encounter people who are lovely until you disagree with them on something, albeit minor.

Just this month I had someone pull out all "guns" on me in front of people for having made a design choice that displeased them. I also got surprised by someone's emotional outburst when I expressed a concern about an item on a bill.

These experiences reminded me that things and people are not always what they seem to be. People can hide emotional baggage and immaturity that can shock the daylights out of you when unleashed.

So, what's one to do when they find themselves on the receiving end of such situations? Remain unmoved, calm and dispassionate. You must realize that any sort of outrageous outburst has nothing to do with you or what you have done. So be the wiser and leave a fool to fight with him/herself.

Don't let other people's behavior rearrange the atmosphere of your emotions and disrupt your well being. Resist the temptation to stoop to their level and fire back at them. Instead, rise above it and remain unbothered. Such a response will not only serve you, but will also send a strong message to the offender.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 12, Issue 39: Stay Grounded This Holiday Season

The holiday season tends to be a busy time. It comes with a new set of demands for our time and energy. It also comes with possible interruption of our regular schedules and routines, especially when travel is involved. As such, it's easy for us to lose our footing.

It's good and normal to take a break from some routine disciplines during the holiday season. But taking this too far does more harm than good. What can follow after the holidays is difficulty in getting back to the disciplines you take a complete break from during the holidays.

I believe the best course of action is to slow down the intensity of routine disciplines during the holidays rather than putting them on pause. If one of your routine disciplines is regular exercise, you can still do light exercises and stretches when removed from your normal environment as a result of holiday travel.

You can still eat sensibly while on vacation if one of your disciplines is healthy eating. Many establishments and house parties now provide their guests with a variety of food options to choose from. You can always call ahead to find out and either request the host to include your preferred food options in the menu, or you can bring your food for the table or refrigerator.

The holidays don't have to be about staying up late or sleeping-in much longer than your usual schedule. If you operate your life in such a way that you get the right amount of sleep each night, then you don't need to excessively sleep in during the weekends or holidays.

Excessive sleeping-in during the holidays may be hard to recover from after the holidays. And so is lack of exercise and poor eating habits among other disciplines you have armed yourself with for successful living. So, do yourself a favour and stay grounded this holiday season.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 12, Issue 38: It's Not Too Late

I read this question from a post James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits posted a couple of days ago. "There is one month left in the year. Most people are ready to coast to the finish line, but one good month can make the whole year feel like a success. What can you do in the next 30 days to build momentum and finish the year on a high note?"

It's not too late to turn the tide. It's not to late to put your best foot forward. It's not too late to bring the best version of yourself to the game. It's not too late to go after a goal you thought you couldn't attain.

It's not too late to build a new identity. It's helps to finish the year on a higher note, and with a new identity. It would give you morale to start strong in the new year. So, what can you do in the remaining 16 days to build momentum and finish the year on a high note? It's not too late to turn the tide.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 12, Issue 37: Delight Yourself This Christmas Month

It's the best time of the year. December is the best month of the year for most of us. A time to be merry. So take time to be merry this festive month. Enjoy the lights. Enjoy the music. Enjoy good food and desserts with family and friends.

This December just started and it's already the 8th day. This is telling that the month will go by quickly. So let's determine to soak in each day until Christmas day and thereafter.

When I was a child, I eagerly waited for Christmas day. Then I would feel bad after Christmas day. I wanted it to last longer than it did. I wanted more of the moment. Now I don't live for the day. I revel in the Christmas month. I put up and decorate my Christmas tree in November before thanksgiving week.

Decorate your house for Christmas. Play Christmas songs in the background all day as you work. Watch Christmas movies. Attend your Church's Christmas extravaganza.

Go to the malls. You don't have to indulge in unnecessary shopping while there, but the atmosphere is delightful. Take pleasure in just being there.

Take yourself and the children in your life to big malls in the evenings for ice cream and enjoy the extensive display of lights and Christmas decorations.

Enjoy imagining, buying or making gifts and cards, and wrapping them for your family and friends and stack them under your Christmas tree. Invite manageable groups of family and friends for treats and exchange gifts and other pleasantries.

Whatever you envision would speak Christmas to you, and bring Christmas cheer to your loved ones, indulge in it. And as you do, celebrate the King of Kings, the reason for the season.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 12, Issue 36: Mindful Self Care

I impressed myself this past weekend when I pulled myself away from a commitment I had made to make chapati for my family's dinner that Saturday evening. I had just arrived home at almost 4pm after a long day of running errands with my daughter.

I had a baking task to wrap up and I hadn't sat down to relax in my living room at all yet. I was determined to make the chapatis but a quick calculation in my head revealed that making chapatis after wrapping up the baking task, and cleaning up thereafter would keep me on my feet in the kitchen until around 7pm.

I knew sitting down to dinner after 7pm and being done just in time for bed would absolutely rob me of any chance of relaxation before going to bed. I wasn't going to be happy knowing I had spent all Saturday working and not having had an inch of rest. So I cancelled the chapati dinner and fixed a quick dinner instead. This to me was mindful self care.

We sometimes push ourselves too far to live up to the commitments we make to ourselves and to others at work and in our personal lives. But the reality of life is that sometimes errands take longer than expected. Tasks overrun their time limits. Life sometimes costs more than we have the capacity to foot.

In the absence of mindful self care, we carry on with meeting the demands in front us instead of adjusting our plans or taking some things off out to-do lists. We can be on the go day after day, weekend after weekend without acknowledging our limits.

I don't want to run long errands every other weekend, or start working on an extensive task or meal late in the day. I want to make room to sit back and relax over the weekends. I want to be done with professional work and house work before 7pm every week day so I can have a moment to laugh with my loved ones and wind down before going to bed.

I just described my version of self care. What does self care look like to you? It's important to know this especially at this time of the year when we are supposed to be slowing done yet we can be busier than ever with holiday activities.

Be mindful of your needs for rest and wellness and practice mindful and intentional self care this holiday season. Plan ahead of time what self care will look like for you and follow through. Say "No" when you need to and stay true to yourself.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi