Volume 01 Issue 11: Gifts and Money

As we start the holidays and festive season, we stumble upon the emphasis to give gifts to those dear to us. We give gifts throughout the year at different occasions but the Christmas spirit does put an emphasis on us to express love though gifts. Gift giving is indeed fundamental to love. As reiterated by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book on love languages, "it doesn’t matter whether it costs money. What matters is that you thought of him or her. And it is not the thought implanted only in the mind that counts, but the thought expressed in actually securing the gift and giving it as the expression of love." However, as obvious as it may seem, giving gifts doesn’t come naturally to all of us. Some are good at it, others could use some help.

Gifts come in all forms. Some are expensive and others don’t have financial implications. My focus today is on gifts that we have to spend money on. Each of us has a personal perception of the use of money and we have various emotions associated with spending it. People with a spending orientation feel good about themselves when they spend money. Some of us on the other hand have a saving and investing orientation. We feel good about ourselves when we save money and invest it wisely. Spend thrifts have little difficulty purchasing gifts for their spouses. Savers on the other hand experience emotional resistance to the idea of spending money as an expression of love. They certainly don’t consider gifts as investments but as expenses to be avoided. A saver hardly buys things for himself or herself. This makes it difficult for a saver to buy things for his or her spouse.

But here is a reality check for you if you fall on the category of savers. Saving and investing is purchasing things for yourself. By saving and investing you are purchasing self worth, emotional and financial security. You are caring for your own emotional needs for financial security in your way of handling money. What you may not be doing is meeting the emotional needs of your spouse. If your spouse feels loved by receiving gifts, then purchasing gifts for him or her is a worthwhile investment to make for your relationship. Gifts are enjoyed by all, including those who don’t put too much value on receiving gifts. A well thought out gift every now and then won’t compromise your savings. Invest in your spouse.

Receiving gifts makes us feel thought of, remembered and special. “People will forget what you said; People will forget what you did; But people will never forget how you make them feel”. Bonnie Jean Wasmund.

Lillian Chebosi