A FOOLISH WOMAN TEARS DOWN HER HOME

Proverbs 14:1 ‘A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.’

Folly has a raggedy house. The foolish woman tears down her house with her own hands. Her life and affairs are in constant disarray because of the foolish choices she makes.

A wise woman fears the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless (Proverbs 14:16).

Let us consider some of the mistakes we make as women that tear down our homes.

A foolish woman tears down her home by:

• Despising her husband in her heart.

- What she thinks of him

- How she regards him in her heart

1 Chronicles 15:29; As the Ark of the Covenant was entering the city of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David dancing and celebrating, she despised him in her heart.

• Competing with her husband.

- Rather than supporting her husband, she competes for leadership with him.

- Instead of standing by him and rallying behind him to help him fulfill his vision, she stubbornly pushes for her own agenda.

- What can you sacrifice for the time being?

Philippians 2:3-7; Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same attitude of mind Christ Jesus had: who, being in the very nature of God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

• Not being a role model to her children

- She has not earned the respect of her children by the way she relates to her husband.

- She conducts herself in an irreverent manner. Thus, her character and behavior are not worth emulating.

Titus 2:3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

• Engaging in unwholesome talk.

- She is careless in her speech

- She makes threats to her husband and children

- She engages in manipulative criticism and withholds due praise and encouragement.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

• Slandering her husband, hence failing to honour him

- She misrepresents her husband; talking ill of him and broadcasting his shortcomings to family and friends.

- She disrespects and dishonors her husband

Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

• Being partial with her children.

- She favors one/some children over others.

- She compares the children and chooses not to love them equally.

Genesis 27:11-17 Jacob takes Esau’s blessing through the scheming of his mother Rebekah, leading to family feuds and separation. Jacob missed the pleasure of being with both of his children in his old age - Paraphrase.

• Making no effort to be attractive to her husband

- She is least concerned about her personal appearance and countenance.

- She does not make an effort to stay attractive to her husband, thus taking him for granted.

Proverbs 24:3 By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.

• Neglecting house work, thinking of home-making as beneath her.

- She does not take charge of her household

- She is lazy, disorganized, and would rather have servants run her home.

- She views domesticity as something that is beneath her

-Her house is a mess, disorganized, and unattractive. She doesn’t take time to cultivate good taste in her household, thereby failing to transform her house into a safe haven for her family

Proverbs 24:4 Through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures

• Withholding good from her husband and children.

- She has not made her home, marriage and children a priority. Her career pursuits, activities and friends take prominence over her family

- She fails to make her home a refuge by creating a good atmosphere

- She delegates or neglects the core aspects of loving her husband and children.

- She withholds her time and attention, and whatever is good from them.

Proverbs 3:27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.

Do you identify with the foolish woman? There’s a way out;

• Seek wisdom to find balance between advancing your career and building your home.

James 3: 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

• Address the issues that are causing trouble in your home.

Songs of Songs 2:15 Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.

• Find mature, balanced successful women who can walk with you and mentor you on the art of womanhood and home-making.

• Give yourself to the study of the word of God to obtain divine guidance for victorious living.

Lillian Chebosi